Not everyone can relate to wrestling or Adam Levine…

But I’m sure everyone has woes about their job.

Without giving away too much information about where I work, I’ll just say that I’ve worked in customer service in a grocery store for almost six years. Needless to say, I’ve had my share of weird experiences and rude customers. But I could never do anything about it (“Customer is always right!”) until now…

If you are in the same boat, and really want a place where you can vent, continue reading. Here’s actual customer comments, how I wish I could have responded, and/or what actually happened:

1. “It’s unprofessional to have gum.” – This lady actually complained to my boss, not even me! Here’s what happened (and, honestly, I don’t think I would have wanted it to happen any other way!): My boss comes over to me and tells me that the lady complained. After he was done, he took out his own gum, made a motion like he was going to stick it on someone’s forehead, shrugged, and walked away. Take that gum lady!

2. “Are you new?” – I know some people say this because they’ve never seen me before since I am away at school, but others say it because they think I’m going too slow. Yes, I’m new. That’s why I have a “Five Year” pin on my name tag. Try again!

3. “This happens all the time here! I’m never coming back!” – Good, we don’t want you here anyway!! Β *See them in the store the next day* Really?

4. “There’s no toilet paper in the bathroom (or there’s poop on the walls)” – I understand this is an issue (and gross), and I hate it myself, but this one just bugs me because unless there is a carryout around at the time the person says it, I forget and nothing gets accomplished. And I am certainly not going to clean it in my nice work clothes..

5. “I know I have money on my card. I just used it!” – Maybe because you just used it, you don’t have any money left on your card! If my system says declined, you’re declined. Please, find another form of payment before I have to tell you for the 10th time the reason for the decline.

6. “You gave me a losing scratch ticket. You took the winning one didn’t you?” – Oh, this actually happened but fortunately not to me. My coworker told me this story. An elderly woman who just walks around the store for literally four hours stopped to buy a scratch ticket. She can’t have any with “trips” because she “can’t take trips” so she’s very specific in which ticket she gets. My coworker gave her a ticket – and then someone else who came by later the same ticket – and the woman came back. When the numbers weren’t in order and she lost, she blamed my coworker for taking the ticket and stealing her money!! I just have no words. What would I have liked to say? Actually, yes I did. It’s in my job description to take the winning tickets from customers. Didn’t you know?

7. “I need to use three different forms of payment and make a sandwich right here on your register. Can you open up specially for me?” – Okay, someone didn’t actually say this but there is a customer who does this. She uses three different EBT cards and a credit card and then proceeds to open up all her bags and make a sandwich on the register. Who are you?! Get out of my store.

8. “Oh, that’s not how you do it.” – OH REALLY? DO YOU WANT TO WORK HERE THEN?! Please, continue to tell ME how to do MY JOB.

9. “This is cheaper at another store…” – Yes, we know it is. And so did you before you drove all the way here and filled your carriage with all of this stuff. Next time, please, go to that store!

10. “When will my mattress be delivered?” – Remember how I said I work at a grocery store? Yeah, we don’t sell mattresses, but someone actually called me once and had a five minute long conversation with me about a mattress that she ordered. I humored her, but to this day I have no idea what she was talking about. Poor lady..

11.Β “I’m going to pay all in change, is that okay?” – No, it’s not okay! Especially not if you put it on the belt and I have to pick it all up again when you could have just handed it to me. Thank you for holding up my line.

12.Β Walks in the door and immediately says “Where is this and this and this and this and this and this?” – Let me just draw you a map? How about you use your eyes and look!

13. Me – “Oh, I’m sorry I’m closed.” *Comes in anyway…* – I don’t think punching someone in the face would be an appropriate course of action but if it was..

14. Me – “How are you today?” Customer on the phone – “Hold on I’m being interrupted” – Oh you’re being interrupted? How about you came through my line while you were on the phone and I was trying to be nice. Next time, I’ll double charge you! But nope, you just keep talking on the phone!

15. “The customer is always right” – Those of you that work in retail know this phrase well, but have you ever had it shoved back in your face? I have! And when they say this, especially when they are wrong (which is 98% of the time) I want to say “Yup, the customer is always right, except when they’re wrong like right now.”

16. “The cashier rang this up wrong” – This is one of my favorites. I am a cashier myself, but I also do the courtesy desk, so when people come up to me and tell me the “cashier rang it wrong” I immediately think “NOPE!” Most of the time, it’s corporate putting certain prices in the system wrong so I tell them so. I say, “Actually, the cashier didn’t do anything wrong, it’s the system that has it wrong.” They usually respond by saying, “Well I still want my money.” Yeah, and I still want a million dollars but you can’t always get what you want.

17. Calls the store, someone answers, they say “Are you open?” – Nope, we come in to answer the phones when the store is closed! We are so dedicated.

18. “Can I see a manager?” – UGH. Worst. phrase. ever. Why? Because 1. They are going to make you look like a complete idiot when you say you can’t do something, they ask a manager, and the manager allows it because of number 15. And 2. It usually means a $25 gift card is in order for something so ridiculous like grapes ringing up 5 cents too much and it was a total inconvenience to look at the receipt and walk 10 steps to the service desk to complain about it and number 3.

19. “Why is there nothing on the shelves?” – Do I look like a delivery truck to you?

20. “A carriage hit my car” – A carriage should have hit you!! No I’m kidding – that’s mean. But we do have a sign out there that says we are not responsible if carriages hit cars so deal with it or park farther away next time.

21. “I’d like to return these items, but I don’t have a receipt” *Takes out 10 razors, laundry detergent, and chicken* – Seriously?… NO. NO. NO. You cannot return these items that add up to $100 bucks without a receipt. You bought them. You keep them. See ya later. Go home, shave, do some laundry, and make a chicken dinner and you’ll be fine. You probably didn’t buy them here anyway.

I know I sound bitter, but I actually do love my job and am thankful to have one. I just figured I’d put a little humor in the things we all have to do every day.

Do you guys have any funny job stories you’d like to share? Sound off in the comments!

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8 thoughts on “Not everyone can relate to wrestling or Adam Levine…

  1. What do you think about this feedback? Does it correspond with your goals as a writer?

    Are there any surprises?

    Are there goals you have in mind (or, put another way, values you want to affirm) that you don’t see showing up amongst the feedback?

    • I think the number one goal I had in mind was variety – because my posts are normally nothing like each other and so can attract many different people. Also, relatable is a good way to describe my posts and people seemed to hit that right on!

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